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Lakeesha Wallace

My name is Lakeesha Wallace and I’m a native of Talladega, Alabama.  I had a kind of hard upbringing because my parents…my dad was an alcoholic, so he was abusive to my mom.  So I saw a lot of that.  And then, also, I was molested as a child. 

After my parents got divorced I was in a single parent home so I had to help raise my little sisters.  So I didn’t have much of a childhood.  And I began to act out because my mom wasn’t there.  My dad, you know, when they get divorced it’s like, “Okay, you’re on your own.”

I needed to be loved.  I needed attention.  So I started being promiscuous.  I started being with different people because I needed love.  I needed attention.  I started acting out in school because…I was an excellent student, very smart, but I noticed that if I was bad, I got the attention from my mom that I wanted, so I started acting out. 

I wasn’t raised in church, but I knew as a child, okay, I know I want to go to heaven, but I don’t know how to go to heaven.  I know you can’t be bad, but what’s not being bad?  No one ever taught me those things.  So I know that Jesus was truly interceding for me, you know, on my behalf because nobody…I don’t think anyone else was because my family, they didn’t go to church. 

I remember a time when my dad, he was drunk, and he beat me up.  And that’s something I said I would never, ever deal with – a man beating me – because I hated to see my mom being beat.  But I remember when he beat me up, I remember he was drunk, he came in the house and he just stomped me and kicked me and my face, I mean, you can liken it to Quasimodo, that’s how my face was just swollen.  And I remember feeling so bad.  I was like, “Why did my daddy beat me up?  What did I do?  Why did he do this to me?” 

At that time, like I said, I didn’t go to church or anything, but I knew that I wanted to go to heaven one day.  And I knew that I had to forgive my dad in order to go to heaven.  And I said that I was like, “I’ll forgive him because I want to go to heaven one day and I can’t if I don’t.”  I was 15 when that happened.

After that, we moved.  I mean, I grew up a little more but I was still, you know, promiscuous.  And then I went away to college.

I went to a Christian college because I knew one day I wanted to be saved.  I knew if I went to Christian college, I was like, okay, it will help me.  But it didn’t help because you had bigger heathens there than anywhere else. 

And you know while I was there I had this boyfriend and stuff, and I was like, “Okay, I’m going to try to live right, live right.”  But I got, how do I explain it?  I got a form of godliness but not the power of God, so I didn’t know.  No Holy Spirit.  No Word.  No foundation.  So that didn’t work because I was like, “Well, forget this trying to be saved stuff.  I’m ready to have sex.”  That became my god.  I wanted to be with my boyfriend.

So my boyfriend turned out…he cheated on me.  And that was like the worst thing I could imagine because me being who I was, nobody’s going to cheat on me because, you know, I’m me.  But that was like the biggest thing.  I was embarrassed.  I was hurt.  I was angry, everything.  “A woman scorned…”

I remember beating him up.  I mean I just beat him up good.  I was breaking glasses, I was doing things not characteristic for me but I wasn’t saved so anything could happen.

And so after that I was like, “Forget this.  I don’t care about anything anymore.”  I started doing things, I started smoking weed and all kinds of…stuff I said I would never do, I began doing. 

And one day my behavior really got me in trouble.  I went to the doctor and I found out that I had some diseases.  And I was like, “Oh my God, that happens to those nasty girls.  That don’t happen to me, you know.  This is me.”  Because, even though you know I said I was doing things, I said I grew up some.  I had some morals.  You know how people say, “I’m a good person.”  I had morals…so I thought. 

And so when that happened I was like, “Oh, God.  Okay, I’m listening.  That’s my wakeup call.”  And I really accepted Jesus then.  I really…there was a change.  I was a new creature.  And I wasn’t going back.  I was like, “Okay, God, it’s all about You.” 

So I went away to another college, and when I went up there it was like, “It’s all about You, Jesus.  It’s all about You.”  My relationship with Him was like, it was for real because I didn’t have friends, I didn’t have…I mean, my focus was this, “Okay, it’s You, nobody else.” 

When guys would try to talk to me I’d say, “Look, you trying to go to heaven?  You trying to go to church?  Oh, well I can’t talk to you because I’m trying to go to heaven.”  They were calling out “Where your man at?”  “In heaven!”  I mean it was Jesus!  Everything was Jesus.  He really changed my life, and I’ve been living for Him ever since.

I fell in love with Him.  I fell in love with the Word, and I have grown.  And so all those things that happened in my life, because I hadn’t told you the half, but those were a few things.

I was in school, got married.  I married someone that I never had sex with.  That’s a testimony in itself because God kept us through.  We dated 2 ½ years but God kept us.  I mean, He’s just awesome!  If you let Him be awesome in your life, He can be and He will be.

I am a believer.  I mean, people use that term Christian so lightly, but I’m a believer, and I know, I know without a doubt – not by what people tell me.  Not by what, you know I’ve seen people testify.  I know it because I’ve experienced Him and He has changed my life. 

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